Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance

David Alan Deacon, KG (degraded); Yeoman Usher of the Black Rod






Born in Easystone, in militia from 16-18. Member of "Hazard," in Beatty Meadow, 18-20. Member of American McGee's "Legion," 20-22. Various residences afterwards: Sony Memorial, Easystone, Centerplace, Nostromo and the upper east, Statesboro, China Grove. With Shannon Vryaby one of the founders of "Blue Train" in Easystone. Last occupation: visiting professor in criminology department, Brazos Valley College. "A scoundrel, a liar, a cheat, a thief, a coward--and oh yes, a toady."

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At the hole where he went in
Red-Eye called to Wrinkle-Skin.
Hear what little Red-Eye saith:
"Nag, come up and dance with death!"

This is the story of the great war that Rikki-tikki-tavi fought single-handed, through the bath-rooms of the big bungalow in Segowlee cantonment. Darzee, the tailor-bird, helped him, and Chuchundra, the musk-rat, who never comes out into the middle of the floor, but always creeps round by the wall, gave him advice; but Rikki-tikki did the real fighting.

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One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no tears, no regrets, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.

There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream; people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace. We've got work to do.

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How to be added to my Friends List:

Preference given to those who add me first, simply by getting my attention. Then, make loads of witty and/or supportive remarks. If you intrigue me enough to make me want to read one or two entries, I may be interested enough to want to read all of them.

Bonus points given to women with enormous breasts, especially if your LJ entries contain photos of you in a shirt with a deep décolletage. Or a see-through blouse. Or a wet t-shirt. I'm only human.

On the other hand, if you're an LJ feminist, or any kind of feminist, don't bother Friending me. I don't want you people here. I've given enough of you people chances to be decent in my Live Journal, and I've always regretted it. Take your diseased ideology and your self-righteous fucking attitude and stay the hell off my Live Journal--you're not welcome.

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Some of my favorite albums:

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My Johari Window

My Nohari Window

. . . for those who feel like giving their opinion. It's an intriguing way to analyze someone.

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Maintainer of: faux_philosophy. Feel free to contribute.

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Testimonials:

• " . . . you are a beacon of reason." -- yahvah
  
• "david_deacon never fails to entertain me." -- celtic_catgirl
  
• "david_deacon for President!" -- sopraffina
  
• "You're an angel, you know that?" -- eelylove
  
• "You're a god, and I love you." -- seekerofspace
  
• "He is a menace to the public good, and must needs be stopped." -- etcet
  
• "Your angsty good humour has brought many a smile to my face." -- dopshoppe
  
• "Dave's awesome!" -- katys_a_poser
  
• " . . . you are strong and a born survivor . . . " -- acesspadesdice
  
• "I dub you brilliant." -- lots42
  
• "You're amazing and intelligent and funny, and I'm happy to have you on my list." -- notodette

Banned by/from:

• missvyxen (for saying that one of her posts was "rude")
  
• austingoddess (She's a Wiccan and I think I made the mistake of taking exception to one of her posts by saying "what's the matter, did you get up on the wrong side of the cauldron this morning?")
  
• the_bigboss (Too bad--that guy's hysterically funny.)
  
• real_philosophy by mendaciloquent
  
• hexennacht (Who knows? Not only banned me but went back and deleted every comment she ever made in my LiveJournal, to completely erase all evidence that we had ever been on good terms.)
  
• dot_race_snark (before even posting there once)
  
• anti_feminism (Moderator njyoder is a hypocritical fuckhead. So much for their "we don't ban anybody" rhetoric.)
  
• af_offtopic by Eurotrash illegal-alien moderator bertro
  
• coffeeandink ("Dink" is a white-hating, intolerant bigot who doesn't tolerate any opinion in her LJ that she doesn't personally agree with. Just another self-righteous, über-liberal LJ scumbag.)
  
• doctorwho for saying something uncomplimentary about Russell T. Davies, by moderator thehornedgod (Specifically, I angered him by referring to Russell T. Davies as Russell T. Gavies. For some reason that pissed him off.)
  
• box_in_the_box (In sympathy with coffeeandink, whom he's a fan of.)
  
• ishitpinecones, when I commented something she didn't like about men falsely accused of rape.
  
• amielzbth (Was so outraged at being banned for a month that she banned me--permanently. Oh, and she invaded my real-world life and alienated me from at least one face-to-face friend. I am sorry I ever considered her a friend; meeting her here was a disaster.)
  
• politicartoons by moderator weswilson, who has revealed himself to be a fucking hypocritical asshole. Good riddance.
  
• sf_drama by owner madwitch, who basically decided that I wasn't reacting at all well to being slandered by thirty of the members of that group, and rather than stop them, she banned me. Typical.
  
• etcet. Don't know why, but must've happened recently. Has the distinction of being listed both on the "banned by" list AND the "testimonials" list.
  
• metaquotes by moderator shaysdays, as I predicted. I have come to expect this on LiveJournal. In addition to the community itself, I was also banned by--
  
• shaysdays herself, when I tried to PM her to complain. Typical of LJ. I sometimes wonder why I patronize this website at all.
  
• farchivist, well-known LJ irritant and supervillain. No surprise there. I only attempted to comment in a post "she" made in her own LJ which slandered me. I like to imagine her in Atlanta somewhere, sitting at the head of a conference table, stroking a white cat and plotting to steal all the gold in Fort Knox, or something.
  
• vodkabeforenoon, when I sent her a PM asking her to stop making posts in randomthought that break LJ and cause the entire page to scroll, making it impossible to read my Friends Page.
  
• philosophy by resident asshole zentiger (who has to be a sock puppet for either mendaciloquent or apperception). Just another comm run by assholes who use it as their one-square-inch dictatorship.

I've been asked why I post the "banned" list, and I answer: it is a badge of honor to be banned by these people. They are humorless critical doctrinaires with grievances, mostly. Shit on them.

Metaquoted: 10 times (twice in one day)

Quoted in a Daily Answers post in ljdq: 133 times (with a current score of +7)

Number of offers to "have my babies" received from female LJ'ers: 3 (plus one "I would suck you off if you look anything like your [Hyde] icon")

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ὦ ξεῖν', ἀγγέλλειν Λακεδαιμονίοις ὅτι τῇδε
κείμεθα τοῖς κείνων ῥήμασι πειθόμενοι.

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Disinterests (37):
50 cent, andy kaufman, andyouwillknowusbythetrailofdead, ann coulter, ashlee simpson, bell hooks, bill o'reilly, bottled water, britney spears, cornel west, evanescence, fake breasts, fox news, fred phelps, george w bush, glenn beck, jessica simpson, katy perry, ludacris, michele bachmann, mitt romney, nicky hilton, pamela anderson, paris hilton, pat robertson, political correctness, radical feminists, rap, republicans, rick perry, sarah palin, sean hannity, system of a down, the kardashians, the patriot act, the war on terror, tom delay